Category: Travel

I like having control. I’m good at anticipating what will happen and planning accordingly. So I practiced taking responsibility for my actions while letting go of the outcome this year. Burning Man is like the Project Manager Olympics because the weather, schedules, comfort, workshops, friends, and music are unreliable. It makes the job nearly impossible and yet essential for survival. This post is for worriers, control freaks, or anyone who has to manage events, people, projects, or manage themselves. It’s hard to let go.

This year at Burning Man was wonderful because it wasn’t amazing or transformative and it didn’t rock my world. I went in and came out knowing I’m in a good place these days. I practiced letting go of micromanaging myself and my future experiences. It was very cold and dusty, but I had a nice time. I think I’ll do it again.

We built our shade structure five times. The wind tore it down five times. When the dust kicked up all we could do is watch the wind shred apart our shelter pick ourselves and it up again.

By the third storm we had at least made it through our big Tutu Tuesday party. The temporality of Burning Man continues to teach me how anticipating everything that could happen takes me away from what is happening. I love this photo of my camp totally unposed goofing around loving each other. I learned to lay on the grass, happily gaze up into blue sky peeking between the jewel toned wind jammers and let my mind wander. At any moment another dust storm could come to take it all away. What a shame if I had spent all the calm moments worrying about losing it. So we had some fun.

The moment before the camera clicks, when a draft is still being written, and just before something is launched is less composed far more interesting. I learned to pay attention to the moments of transition. These are the moments that serve as a window into how things are. It’s very important to find stillness. But if we only paid attention to what’s happening when things are quiet, we would miss what’s happening at all.

I was supposed to leave Burning Man early but ended up on the Playa for 9 days. I had an important wedding in Chicago Labor Day weekend and no way out of Burning Man. I ponied up a lot of cash and pretty complex logistics to get myself from the dust to her ceremony. I anticipated possibly losing my mind at Burning Man and scheduled my itinerary down to the minute: when to set the alarm, when to leave the hotel room, when to call the cab to the airport, when I need to be at the gate. I actually drove myself pretty nuts pulling to together, but I was determined to get in a full burn and make it to the wedding. The dust had another plan.

On Wednesday my friend and I went for a bike ride and the strong winds took us to the Planetarium at the edge of the Playa. The weather never died down and we biked against the wind home. It was so rough I threw my back out. I found someone with cell service, texted my mom to tell the bride I couldn’t come. I felt embarrassed for micromanaging myself an exodus plan that ended up not mattering. Immobile, I was carried into our dome and for two days stared at the sticker on the ceiling with a cartoon pickle saying “Dill with it.”

No cellphone, no book, and nothing really to do. When I could finally lift my head, I could peer out the window of our dome and watch Burning Man happen around me.  I came to enjoy being bored at one of the most interesting places on earth. I listened to art cars come and go and snippets of odd conversations while drifting in and out of naps. And every so often calling out something strange into the megaphone. Burning Man is actually a wonderful place to be injured. You have a community of smart, kind friends and strangers who also have time and desire to help.

I let myself let go of my guilt for missing such an important wedding. I let go of all the parties I missed, art I didn’t see, strangers I never met, and friends I never got  to visit. On Friday I went out for my only night of dancing and found all the things I let go of. Burning Man has shaped the who is in my life and how I live it. It wasn’t life changing, it wasn’t incredible, nor transformative.

The Playa is no longer a place for me to to figure things out, that’s what living my life is for. The conditions of the playa create circumstances that help me see myself and the nature of Burning Man itself lets it be a benchmark in time. It’s a marvelous place for reflection.

I’m designer, manager, and organization enthusiast. I care a lot about how things come together and how the play out. You can’t hold onto a dust storm and tell it when and where to show up. So when it comes, and it will come, I may just let it come and then let it go.

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More lessons from the Playa

2014 What burners can learn from not going to  Burning Man
2013 What families can learn from Burning Man
2012 What small teams can learn from Burning Man
2011 What designers can learn from Burning Man

Here’s a late night city bright in color, rich in food, gritty about art, with music that goes on for for days and days. It looks like a mishmash of Lisbon, Berlin and Paris but costs like Milwaukee.

I went to Argentina for a wedding in Rosario and stayed in Buenos Aires for another week and a half. I couldn’t think of too many friends who had been to Argentina, but when I asked Facebook for tips, essays of recommendations came in. I loved it there and it seems like other people do too.

So, why doesn’t this city doesn’t get more praise? Well anyway, here’s mine.

But first, some quick business talk.

Bring Cash

Some Argentines save their money in US Dollars instead of Pesos because it’s a more stable currency. So it’s understood American travelers will trade their currency on the illegal but tolerated exchange rate of 13:1 instead of the official rate of 8:1. My Airbnb host helped me out with this but I kid you not my friend traded his dollars for pesos at the Blue Dolar rate at a Western Union. The point being, you’ll be able to find someone. This does mean you’ll have a lot of cash with you, so make sure where you’re staying has safe to lock up your money.

Art

The Graffitimundo Street Art Tour is my only must-do event in all of Buenos Aires. Sign up for the Palermo (North) tour on your first day in the city. You won’t know what to do yet anyway, so just do this. It’s the perfect introduction to the social-political context of BsAs, the tour is in English, it funds artists, and will change how you see the city during the rest of your visit. I loved it so much I later signed up for the South tour of the murals, plus you get to go to the ‘hood. If you can, get a tour with Ana.

If you do go on the South Tour or visit La Boca, give yourself 30 minutes to visit the hipster Proa museum beforehand. Their website says they’re closed on Monday but it was open the Monday I went. It’s lovely and seems like the only other thing worth doing out there.

I tried to go to Banchero Pizza for lunch but it actually was closed. So I got an overpriced pizza on the colorful street and watched some tango dancers. It was really touristy and pretty cute.

But if you’re hungry for an art museum, the MALBA curators have their act together. It has great light, good flow and left me feeling floaty and spacey when I left. There’s a Frida Kahlo there and lots of experimental pieces. Save some time for the museum store, the Blue Dolar exchange rate made this a great place for gifts.

The Recoleta cemetery is fantastic. It would be a shame to come all the way to Buenos Aires and not stroll through here. It’s not too far from the Evita Museum which is quality and surprisingly huge. It’s worth visiting if you’re in the neighborhood but I wouldn’t recommend making the trip for it specifically. She had great high heels.

And speaking of high heels, bring them for a tango class at La Catedral, an old flour factory. Tuesdays are a great night to just watch people dancing and classes seem to run most nights. My friends said the times of the classes on the website are not reliable, so I recommend contacting them or asking in person. It’s foreigner and tourist friendly without being gimmicky. That being said, the sidewalks are uneven which might explain why I only saw women in flats for platforms. Leave your stilletos at home.

Closed Door Restaurants

There are endless Closed Door (puerta cerrada) restaurants in Buenos Aires. They’re private, underground, multi-course meals out of peoples’ homes. They’re fantastic fine-dining experiences that cost $40-60 USD. Make your dinner reservations weeks in advance.

1. Adentro  – This was by far the best overall experience. This was a group dinner of travelers and the hosts. We got to spend time on their roof, parilla patio (pictured above) and all had dinner together in their dining room. This felt most like a dinner party with old friends. The food was great and the company was better. This is my top recommendation.
2. Ocho Once – The food at Ocho Once was Michelin star quality. However, they were ready to trade out my plates faster than I could eat and each dinner group was seated separately, restaurant style. The food was so good I was able to overlook the snobbiness and fast plates.
3. Cocina Sunae – Their specialty is Thai food and I even saw a writeup about this location in Harpers Bazaar Argentina. What they did better than anyone else was presentation. Though it was nice to have spicy food and Thai flavors, I left dinner longing for hole-in-the-wall noodles in San Francisco. Skippable.

Restaurants

Here’s what I everyone told me and also what I learned. Don’t wing it on restaurants if you want a great meal and go for dinner around 10:00pm. There’s lots of mediocre stuff out there. I also learned I must not like steak because I couldn’t get into the cuts at Don Julio, Ming and a few other places. Go figure. The chorizo was spicier and more satisfying if you find yourself in the same boat as me. Here are some good less obvious restaurants for when you’re tired of fancy animal-slab restaurants:

• Find a fried empanada. None of that baked stuff!
• Artemsia (Palermo Hollywood) – delicious, comfortable, reliable vegetarian restaurant with rich meals that have more than salads and won’t leave you missing meat.
• Burger Joint (Palermo Soho) – I always want a hamburger on my last day of travel. This place has good, greasy American-style burgers, french fries and a Justin-Beiber-Bashing Tip Jar. The food is legitimately good so you don’t have to feel like a sellout if you eat here.
• Fukuron Noodle Bar (Palermo Hollywood)- This place was sadly closed they day I wanted to visit. But I heard the ramen is legit and the place has a good street-vibe.
• Campo dei Fiori – My Chilean friend told me this place has the best pasta in Buenos Aires.  This place also wasn’t open when I tried to go there due to a long holiday weekend, so I don’t know. I did a foursquare search of the entire city for pasta and ended up at Piegari Ristorante in Recoleta. It’s very close to a few bars you must visit.

Cocktail Bars

I’m sure there are hundreds of lovely places to have drinks in Buenos Aires. I’m only going to recommend two, both are in Recoleta. The first is Floreria Atlantico, which, as you can tell, is also a flower shop. It smells as beautiful as it looks. We did a quick tour through the shop and basement bar but didn’t have the patience to wait for a seat. It’s worth going just for the sights and smell. There are flowers in the cocktails. Sweet.

We moved onto Milión just a few blocks away, a Mansion turned restaurant and bar. It’s run by a group of artists showcasing  several beautiful of the contemporary pieces by local professional artists. It’s worth coming here to lay on the marble steps and sip a cocktail while housey-disco wafts through the corridors.

Twist my arm, if you really want a third recommendation, Victoria Brown in Palermo has tasty prohibition style cocktails, good house music and a soft steam-punk aesthetic. But not in that Burning Man kind of way.

Shopping

I did half a day of shopping in San Telmo. I started at Plaza Dorrego and walked down Defensa aiming for Plop that carries cool, creative, urban, well-priced items. I got a long-sleeved black dress with an asymmetrical zipper across the neck and the body hand painted by a local artists and a hand-made lambswool cape. There are a few other good shops nearby. You might have better luck than I did in Palermo Soho or Plaza Serrano. Several blogs pointed me to Villa Crispo for leather goods. I went to almost every shop there and found most of the stores to be too expensive and mostly just selling jackets, don’t bother if you want a broad exploration.

 

 

Peace and Quiet

The California kid in me just wanted to have a quiet nap in a park. The Botanical Garden and the Japanese Garden both had the actual lawn areas roped off with plenty of benches for sitting. Oddly enough the day I went to the Japanese Garden happened to be Manga Day, so it was flooded with Argentines dressed like Japanese characters (above). But I imagine the garden otherwise is a peaceful quite place.

If you’re looking to stretch it out after the long flight, take a class with Agustina Villar at The Urban Lotus yoga studio in Palermo. Agustina lived and practiced in San Francisco for 7 years. At home in Buenos Aires, she teaches a beginner-moderate Forrest style class in the small studio, gives a lot of attention, and is a fluent English speaker. She’ll translate the Perrito Abajo (downward dog) but it helps if you speak Spanish depending on who else is in the class.

I don’t usually do spa days on vacation but I had a refreshing change of pace at the Home Spa in Palermo Hollywood. I had a deep tissue massage, a light salad for lunch, a bottle of crisp white Torrontes wine. It was the perfect way to cool down by the pool on a hot day.

House & Techno

This is the friendliest group of party people I’ve ever met. One appeal to techno-tourism is knowing you have friends and family everywhere. But people at these bars and clubs were exceptionally friendly and initiated conversations all night. Even the candy-poppin-late-night-clubbers were extremely polite and endearlingly offended when I didn’t say perdón or excuse myself while moving through the big crowds.

The picture above is during tINI’s set at Crobar which is just a big ‘ol club. There was never a line for the women’s bathroom, and the outside patio was lovely, and sometimes trains still pass by over the old train station. If I lived in here, I’d probably claim to never go to Crobar. Then some DJ worth seeing would come to town, I’d buy a ticket, whine about the big crowd then at 5am the music would get weird, people would go home, and I’d happily get my dance on.

Which brings me to the late night schedule. We napped until 2:30, got to the club around 3, the music got pretty good around 4 and there was space to dance around 5. It wasn’t hard to find the after-hours party at C’est Club in Palermo which was worth visiting for the sake of techno-tourism. If you’ve ever been to an afters before, anywhere in the world, it was exactly like that.

The Resident Advisor for Buenos Aires is not very good. A friend of mine said to visit the clubs’ Facebook pages and look for related and recommended events.

There’s a good an outdoor/indoor cocktail bar in Chinatown called Puerto Uno. The DJ was spinning some cozy housey tunes from a few years ago. Start but don’t end your night here. Look for the big black doorbell otherwise you’ll have trouble letting the doorman know you want to get inside.

I went also to a loungey dance bar Levitar a couple of times to hear some local DJs. This spot was closer to home and open later than Puerto Uno. It was like a mix of 222 Hyde and 111 Minna. It’s not quite a destination spot, but a good techno hangout in Palermo if you want to hear some music late without committing to a bold night out.

I’m told it’s also worth seeing who’s playing at Bahrein, Cocoliche, Pacha (yeah, I know).

Other little tips

• Mexican or European style Spanish will get you most of the way there. The “double-L” makes a juh sound. In Mexico calle is pronounced cai-yay but in Argentina you’ll hear it as cai-jhay. The “Y” like Yo would be pronounced something like Jyho.
• Streets are well marked and cab drivers generally know where to go. It helps to ask in Spanish. That being said, be safe and night and take a cab, especially if you’re alone. Buenos Aires is not known for being a safe city.
• When sitting at a restaurant, keep your bag on your body instead of on the chair next to you.
• Hipsters everywhere in the world are the same. There ya have it.
• There’s wifi almost everywhere, just ask for the password. Or hold up your phone with a smile and say “Wifi?”
• Locals don’t seem to mind, nay, they seemed to like people from the United States

Shoutout for Rosario

I imagine Rosario is a lovely place to live up but not really a city for vacationing.

If you do find yourself in Rosario, here are a few things I recommend:

Hookipa – If you can somehow get to the Yacht Club and hire a boat to take you across the river, you’ll find paradise. There’s a short patch of sand, bronze Argentines, and a treehouse serving beach tunes and Big Gulp sized caipirinhas. The water’s brown, but it’s not dirty. And this is a local’s spot, so play nice.

Los Jardines – a lovely waterfront dinner restaurant and bar on the water that is open late with nice lighting and comfortable seats. If you’ve been eating meat for days, have the salad with pumpkin and quinoa. They accommodate large groups well, too.

Complejo Davis – Come here for the nice sit by the river, skip the art museum. I didn’t meet one local who had ever been to this art museum, we went anyway. It was nearly empty. Save your time, they truly had to turn on the lights and elevator for us.

Oh and finally

Adios is an antiquated farewell. The locals say ciao.

You’re going to Tokyo! Wonderful. I’ve only been twice and neither time for tourism, but that meant I had to be quite picky about what to do in the free time I had. I was last in Japan for a couple of weeks hosting an art/techno/startup conference and worked in Tokyo for a month in 2011.

I’m by no means an expert on the city. In fact, I find it quite a difficult place to be. So I’m sure this guide is missing out on some really cool underground hot spots.  Despite the language and cultural challenges I’ve had there, I still find Tokyo marvelous and inspiring. Also check out my friend Tanya’s Facebook page Getting Weird in Tokyo for other good tips in this fine city. Girl loves the place.

 

Wifi Everywhere

First thing’s first. Reserve a wifi (mifi) device from Japan Wireless a few weeks before you leave for Japan. Keep this little device charged and in your bag for a wifi connection everywhere you go. This is especially important since there is little-to-no rhyme or reason to most of the streets in Japan. You can pick up your reserved device from the Post Office at Narita Airport or have it mailed it to your hotel. Without a doubt get the Wimax 40mbps unlimited connection speed.

The Google Maps team did an excellent job charting out the cities walkways and trains. You have to work pretty hard to get lost, now (though entrances aren’t always where the pin drops). While you’re at it, download the Google Translate app. It will pump out your phrase in Latin characters, Japanese characters and offer voice pronunciation. Life Saver.

Fantastic Pad in Fantastic Locale! in Shibuya

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Where to stay

Both times I visited I stayed in Shibuya: once near Yoyogi Park the other time near the Womb nightclub. It’s centrally located but also quite loud. I don’t have good advice on better places to stay but my home at the Fantastic Pad Airbnb was as lovely as its pictures look. The hosts, Happy Tokyo, have 12 other listings, mountains of positive reviews, and will comfortably communicate to you in English.

Shibuya

You’re going to go to Shibuya, you just are. It’s hard for me to imagine not needing to go there. I suppose it’s the Times and Union Squares of Tokyo. Shibuya is wonderful for several everything stores including Tokyu Hands, Loft and the Ito-ya Stationary Store in Shibuya Station (and its bigger locale in Ginza). Shibuya is home to several nightclubs I’d actually go to: meaning good people, quality sound system and top notch tunes. I’ve been to Womb (big room) and have had many friends go to smaller spots like Unit, Bar Bonobo (supposedly similar to 222 Hyde) and Oiran.

There’s a hella-lotta ramen in Shibuya. Many spots have a vending machine that spit out a ticket after you’ve paid. Give to the host or person behind the counter and wait for your noodle paradise. If you get a chance, dip into one of the many Afuri Ramen spots that has light, fresh, delicioso noodles. There are also some late-night Ramen shops with little walls on either side fo the bar table so you can find a quite moment among all the noise. There’s also a little forrest nook restaurant called Yoyogi Curry with some pretty stellar curry. Like. Extremely delicious.

Cat Cafes are all over Tokyo. I found to Cat Cafe Hapineko in Shibuya just by keeping my eyes extra-peeled. They’re hosts and cats are used to tourists and the venue has an English menu. The kitties aren’t drugged up but were a little skiddish, which I suppose comes with the territory.

Takeshita Street & Akihabara

These two ‘hoods met the Harujuku expectations I had for the gothic and cutesie (Kawaii) fashion styles. Takeshita Street (close to Shibuya) is much more pink and frilly, whereas Akihabara (close to Asakusa) seems to attract more of the gamer culture. It’s very possible I’m botching up what’s really going on in these places, but it’s what I saw and felt. Visit at least one of these places during your visit.

Shimokitazawa

This little ‘hood has cool, quirky, hipster boutiques at actually reasonable prices. Vogue named it one of coolest neighborhoods in the world when it comes to street style. It was surprisingly unpretentious when I went there. It reminds me of a less gothic, less commercial version of  Camden Town in London. I didn’t find it the easiest place to get a good meal, but Lauren and I shared some nice steak and broccoli snack at Rainbow Kitchen.

Asakusa

This was the most touristy activity I’ve done in Japan. And you know what? It was actually pretty rad because I came home with some nice kitchenwear that I love. You can have a good bowl of noodles and nice stroll. The average age here is a little older than Shibuya which means it comes with some kind of meandering slowness that I appreciate.

Roppongi

Come here for the view from Mori Tower and a visit to the Art Museum. Absolutely worth your time, if nothing for then for the view. In this ‘hood you’ll find lots of ex-pats, businesses and I think the Google offices are here. I think there are some good clubs around here but I’m not sure.

Hiroo (yoga)

I really wanted to keep my yoga practice going while in Japan. I found a nice studio with several classes in English near the Hiroo stop called Be Yoga. It was a nice dip into the comforts of San Francisco and mental calm while in a city that kinda makes my mind spin. I believe there are a few reasonable studios in Shibuya as well.

Honorable mentions

Costume Karaoke at Festa has full clothing racks of costumes,  and endless rooms with multiple screens each with musical instruments to everyone can participate. They also have remotes in both English and Japanese so it’s a great place to meet lots of friends for beers and singing.

 

 

Bction is an art group that’s on the pulse of the contemporary, underground art in Japan. Pop over to their site/twitter/instagram and find out what they’re exploring and talking about. Guaranteed to inspire you.

Yoyogi Park is the Dolores/Central Park of Tokyo. It’s walking distance from Shibuya and hosts lots of events and is great for people watching and generally entertaining meandering.

Hot Springs I’m not sure if there are any in Tokyo, but definitely outside of the city. If you can’t make it to a spring, visit an onsen and have a nice soak.

Maid Cafes are a thing to explore. I haven’t done it but if you’re curious, google it and have a looksee.

Ghibli Museum I’ve heard is fantastic, especially if you love Miyazaki films.

Arunjyansu is where I got purple hair extensions during my visit. They were friendly to walk-ins and happy to communicate with me through the Google Translate app. Easily made for the best souvenir I’ve ever had from a vacation. It’s on the second floor across the street and to the left of the Forever 21 in Shibuya if your back is to the Forever 21.

Naoshima is a trek from Tokyo and worth every moment. It’s an island completely dedicated to contemporary art including world renowned architect Tado Ando and several installations by James Turrell and Yayoi Kusama. Naoshima is at the top of my list of special places my favorite people need to visit.

 

It’s just not possible to do everything always. That’s one of the first things I learned at Burning Man. This year I took a break from the Playa, I knew it was the right decision because it was not a difficult decision. Remember? I even wanted to leave early last year!

You are always participating

Every year passed, I loved being wished a great burn from long-time playa bunnies who were staying home. It’s such a small thing but it always pulled a strong heart string for me. I loved feeling celebrated and sent off by those who had been before. I felt like a vessel for their spirits out there.

And truly, from little muscle pumping in my chest, I loved sending my friends off to Burning Man this year. I spent some hearty time with a few folks before their departure talking about their week ahead. Some veterans, some virgins. It pained me to not go on bizarre bike rides with them. But talking out their hopes, fears and intentions and giving them the metaphorical “good game” spank on the butt before their departure felt right and felt like a gift.

I felt like I was a part of the composition of Black Rock City even if I was not there in the dust.

There is no FOMO

I was really missing Atish on Friday Night. I thought about him scarfing down a bowl of Tasty Bites and riding his clankity bike to the edge to prepare for his epic Robert Heart Bus set. I imagined Short Stack and Om Skillet and Oontz Pouch and the rest of our friends quietly robing themselves in LED lights together cruising out to the big sound bus for a grand all-night friend reunion. I really wanted to be there doing that.

But it sounds like the huge friend reunion was actually at Panda Lounge this year. And maybe that lentil soup dinner and magical Robot Heart night happened. But my fantasy felt sour when I heard people were booing Skrillex and Diplo on the very same art car days earlier.

It made me realize I was actually missing future experiences that had actually already happened a year ago. Upon this liberation, I felt not sad for missing 2014 but hungry for 2015.

The Playa is actually beautiful

I’m skeptical. Every year I question whether or not it’s actually fun, beautiful, spiritual, challenging, or even hot. Are the many like-minded people with shared values are doing the same activities, just reaffirming and justifying this lavish holiday? Every year I wonder, is this place actually great?

It is. I tuned into the live stream during Burn Morning Sunrise from my clean, warm bed and nearly cried at the beauty. My stomach sank and heart filled. I thought about all the people, now settled into their dust, through the dark night and thirsty for the sun about to get the burst of light they were waiting for. All the little critters who had been critterting all night as if they have somewhere important to be, finding a shared moment to pause and warm their face.

Even from here, it was beautiful and special. I paused with you.

You can feel anything, anywhere, anytime

I spent Burn Week thinking about the last year. I did this while on an Angel Island night hike (yes with my blinky lights) and at home next to a burning fireplace. My dearest friends and I one-by-one deconstructed the last year. What happened? What didn’t? How did we feel? What did we learn?

Then of course, we looked into our next year. I rarely consciously do this at Burning Man, but the experience presents itself to me each time. Next to the fireplace, we each wrote a fear we wanted to conquer on a Super Duper napkin and set it to flame. We were kind and good to our future selves.

And with that, I’m off to Japan!

I’m bringing seven special friends together with equally smart, funny, like-minded creatives in Tokyo. I’ve been planning this conference, Startup The Party, with two friends I met through Burning Man and music. We’re going to a special electronic music festival in a Japanese forrest, finding new ways to look at our cities, seeing art that’s intended to be destroyed and boating on neon spaceship.I’m then rewarding myself with a weekend of riding my bike on an island dedicated to large-scale sculpture art.

Just needs fire.

Thanks for the well wishes. See you on the other side!

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More lessons from the Playa

2013 What families can learn from Burning Man
2012 What small teams can learn from Burning Man
2011 What designers can learn from Burning Man

It’s Saturday night before Burning Man officially begins and our camp is out for a family ride to see the desert city coming to life. Somewhere past the Temple, pedaling beside a brotherly figure, I ask
“Have you ever had a bad burn?”

He stuttered. I backpedaled. And we let the sound of our wheels churning against the dust take over the conversation. Our bikes followed the blinky lights from our campmates headed straight for the infinite black sky.

“Are you worried about having a bad burn?” His reply hit me like a wall. I wasn’t prepared to answer that question or to have a bad burn. But thought I might.

I felt prepared for a third return to the Playa. In fact, I had successfully ‘burned all year.’

I moved forward as an artist, recharged my professional life and made space and time to nurture myself, friends, family, conflict and heart. I did not ‘save up’ thoughts or ideas to explore at Burning Man. Usually I would. And like clock work, I would panic the week before it’s time to drive to Nevada.

But this time my bags were packed two weeks in advance and until we crossed the gates, Burning Man was set to be a smooth happy sail. So why after all this work, did I feel like MOOP?

We don’t get to choose who is in our family, when the wind will kick up the dust or how we’re going to feel when the sun changes. We do get to choose how we want to act and react when we’re faced with a new truth.

And my truth changed.

While ringing bells at the Stands of Chime, I rang too hard, missed the bells for my hand and fractured my right index finger. At the medical center I asked, “Should I go home?”

“Do you want to go home?” This is my out, I thought. I could leave Burning Man and be free from the pressure to have some scheduled spiritual awakening.

“No,” I heard myself replying.

“Then don’t go home.” So there. I had committed to turn things around.

I had to accept being radically reliant and an involuntary sparkle pony. During Short Stack’s big party, Tutu Tuesday, our sister camp Om Skillet took care of me as their own. They fed me electrolytes, tucked me in for countless naps and sewed a darling tutu for my pointer finger. I let them help me.

Ask for help
No one can read you mind or know when you want help. Often times I got help when I didn’t need it and needed help when I couldn’t find it. I had to be comfortable asking my brothers and sisters to  do basic things like wash my hair, write thoughts in my notebook and flip bacon for me on dinner duty night. I’m not good at not being able to take of myself.

Experiment
I went to a global meetup for music visuals artists. I was booked to make art for thousands of people the next night at the biggest stage on the Playa. With my dominant hand impaired I was ready to throw in the towel until a lead artist reminded us, “This is Burning Man. This is an experiment. Bring your weird stuff here.” Try out something new, he continued, this is the community that will accept it.

So I not only did the show, it was my best gig yet (and left-handed!). I usually insist friends not attend since they won’t like the rave music or big crowds. But they showed up and danced in front of the booth the whole time. And it made me happy. Instead of feeling I had to promise them the world or a moving experience, I promised them first row seats to my experiment. That was freeing.

Be Patient
We want to be good children and siblings and partners and parents. It’s very easy to expect and require a lot, sometimes too much, from our families and from ourselves. Seven days at Burning Man helped me remember to take time to move through moments and to be patient and forgiving with myself and of my family. We are just people.

I spent all of Thursday night with the Listed family at Music Savages. Naveen, Hoj and Khoury played beautiful, moving and experimental sets. And like Neil’s lights, I took my time, all night in fact. And there among dinosaur shadow puppets and knee-slapping unicorn jokes, we did one of my favorite burning man actives, danced to call the sun up.

Find your family
We don’t get to choose with whom we share blood and family trees. I got lucky on that one. We do get to choose what we value and who to pull closer and who to push away. And for many of us we are hundreds of miles away from blood relatives at Burning Man and in our daily lives. So we have to make family. And these people actually are a choice. So let’s choose people who will help us, experiment with us, be patient with us and unconditionally love us and be people we can love back.

 

I don’t think there is such a thing as a ‘bad’ burn or even a ‘good’ burn. Every year it’s just a lot of ups and downs. I was tough cookie at Burning Man, but the Playa is a fantasy world and we’re not there anymore. My arm hurts, I need help getting feathers out of my hair and I miss my friends.

Anyone want to play?

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More lessons from the Playa

2012 What small teams can learn from Burning Man
2011 What designers can learn from Burning Man

Stroll down 18th street or visit Baker Beach on any day of the week in San Francisco and you’ll find so many people out, you’ll think it’s Saturday. You won’t be the first to wonder if anyone in this city of workaholics is actually working.

I left my full-time job and took an unstructured staycation of exactly one month. I wanted to reconnect with people whom I’d lost touch, spend time writing and reflecting and improve my diet, sleep and exercise routines. My only restrictions were from traveling, shopping and developing new technical skills. Otherwise, life was an open book.

For a thirty days I led a flexible schedule lifestyle like my friends who are artists, freelancers, founders, bartenders, night-workers, Lyft drivers, students and on the rare occasion: those who are unemployed.

The first week was a blast.

I scheduled bagel breakfasts, strolls for fresh-squeezed juices, tea times, Taco Bell trips, park hangouts and visits to art exhibitions. I leaned on momentum from working life and completed item-after-item of third priority todos on my Asana task list. At first, my weeks were booked before they even began. That part of my life had unfortunately gone unchanged.

But during small pockets time when I was alone amidst my flurried schedule, I could see I was busying myself. I did this because I was nervous about feeling lonely or bored.

I reduced my calendar density and scheduled activities only one day in advance at most. And eventually, blocked out days where I would see no people.

And actually, I did get lonely and bored which was uncomfortable and sometimes very unpleasant.

During some long coastline drives and flora-filled hikes I thought about people who say they wish could win the lottery or sell their startup and never have to work. I can’t imagine ever wanting that now.

But there was a lot of joy to be had as well.

I happily spent time at home cooking, cleaning, biking, listening albums, reading entire Economists, welcoming surprise visitors and watching all nine seasons of Scrubs.

I put together a new site for my music visuals content and took on a few exciting VJ gigs. The time off gave me opportunity to push my creative reach while performing live and work on art installations I’d like to make in the future.

I stayed out late on weeknights for music and took weekend nature trips with friends.

And after years and years of wishing I could capture the serendipity that comes with traveling in a new city, I finally figured out how to do it at home.

I wanted to spend this time off ‘being here now’ and resisting my natural instinct to get on an airplane going anywhere. Now that I’ve dipped in the oceans, sat in the sand, hiked in the woods, napped in the parks and flurried in the winds, all at home, I can rejoice that it’s May.

Why?

Because I’m allowed to jet set again! But this time, with the intent to sit still when I land. I’m punctuating this wonderful month with my friends in the desert, my favorite nature scape of them all, at the Joshua Tree National Park.

In my final week off, I found myself building prototypes, writing about design and ready and hungry to work. Now that I’m drenched in Vitamin D, at Inbox 0, and have a completed task list, I’m back at the beginning but with a new perspective.

And now, after having actually taken time to do it, I’m much better at stopping to smell the roses.