Category: How we live

“Black Lives Matter” echoed outside my window afternoon into dusk every day this summer. My view overlooked Flatbush Avenue on Bergen and Dean sharing blocks with the Barclay Center and Police Precinct 78th in Brooklyn. It was the initial epicenter of the peaceful protests in New York and my second year in NYC.

Before the George Floyd was brutally killed on May 25, 2020, streets were in a silent war with Coronavirus.

https://twitter.com/ninamehta/status/1240426733322600448?s=20

Silent streets, erupted

Busy avenues were uncomfortably desolate during lockdown. I wouldn’t leave my studio for days or weeks at a time. We didn’t know the virus was airborne and washing groceries was futile. All I heard was the echo of the Bergen Street Subway underground and ambulances speeding to overwhelmed hospitals to with COVID-19 patients.

Then, like whiplash the streets filled and virus was secondary.

https://twitter.com/ninamehta/status/1266502021248671745?s=20

Days after George Floyd’s murder, before protest in New York I was on a stressful visit to my bodega that allowed for 2-feet of distance at most. With shock and whiplash, I found hoards of people in protest against police at the Barclay Center. I positioned myself between two police cars, where I could get some amount of social distance to have an internal conversation with myself about what cause was worth risking Coronavirus. Black Lives Matters, yes, of course.

New to New York City, my personal comfort with the NYPD waned. I came home and was horrified I was only feet away from horrific brutality:

https://twitter.com/ninamehta/status/1266563625248010241?s=20

Much later, we did learn peaceful, masked, protesting did not significantly contribute to the spread of Coronavirus. But wih the nation on fire, I could not leave my apartment without facing 30+ unmasked Police and having to show ID to enter my block. Seeing police actively step on the gas, into pedestrians with my own eyes shifted something deeper inside me.

The protests continued. The virus continued. Living on Flatbush, continued.

Wtf!!! #BlacklivesMaters #brooklynprotest pic.twitter.com/S1oet8JC0x

— Pierre G. (@pgarapon) May 31, 2020

Every single peaceful protest was needed and warranted. But in my studio apartment, during a performance review or design critique, I really wished I too had a cabin upstate or an easy way to escape to the suburbs. Just some quiet and relief for my nervous system. Every visit to the grocery store or walking call with my therapist was also a short march in a protest.

Only later could I appreciate the front seat and ease to participate in history in the making.

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As autumn turned and friends returned to New York City, they questioned why I would stay here all summer. And now, I cannot imagine having been anywhere else. The city too, came alive, together.

Summer of Joy and Community

I believe Black Trans Lives matter and I know Black Trans Lives are a central community and arts in New York City.

I was comforted, relieved, and felt connected to see people from my music world out marching. And especially Fran Tirado, who I got to know with when he visited Mailchimp in Atlanta, a keynote speaker at the Black Trans Lives Matter march, and collaborator on underground music events I attend in Bushwick.

https://twitter.com/ninamehta/status/1272259942511259651?s=20

Summer of Music and Justice

There was so, much, dancing this summer. I went from prancing around my studio to Honey Dijon in my apartment with visiting-cat Jeffy, to in the streets of Clinton Hill with my now neighbors.

After so many months of lockdown, we felt our bodies come alive. I was afraid I forgot how to hug, kiss, move, and play. But at the first sound of a bass, my body knew what to do and I met new and old friends again on the stoops and dance floor.

And lest you not forget Black Trans queens were voguing long before Madonna. Disco, that influenced house, influenced something you dance to, also started with Black Trans artists as tastemakers at the center. Many, who we lost from AIDS, from the biggest epidemic in American history.

We were in it

I waited to write this post.

New York City was like a cinematic sonic boom. Silent and then fully erupted.

We never got justice for the endless souls who were and will be innocently murdered for being Black. We might never. I feel the progress was incremental as best. And we’re still in it. Children hundreds of years from now will read a line in a text book, maybe a paragraph, about this summer and hopefully find our whole way of being, disorientingly archaic and backwards.

I waited to write this post because my voice was not the most important, then. It wasn’t safe to share where I lived. And I was in it. As I pack my Konmari books and gorgeous framed photo of Indya Moore, I am enthusiastic to sign a new lease in New York City. A place that has made it so easy to call home, especially this summer, and especially because of the people who stayed.

Note: This post was written on May 8, 2020 and published unedited on July 31, 2020. In the spirit of charting the course of this crisis for my personal records, I’m posting it anyway. It’s incompleteness somehow captures the sentiment of these times.

First, we were wishing to go back to normal, then protested that going back wasn’t possible. But here we are in it, waiting for the other side to know what the end looks like. I’m writing this post to chart personal, tactical, tangible change that will continue stay when we’re together again and close.

A liveable studio

My office, bedroom, kitchen, yoga, studio, art space, and living room is one big box with a hallway and bathroom. It’s tight but fine tuning the details every day is leading me to fall in love with my home and this city in new ways.

I recently collected a Night Pool print from Robert Bingham. This print took an already used wall space in the bathroom by other pieces. When those former pieces were hung in my entry way, I saw new possibility to turn my entry way into a yoga studio and place to take casual calls.

I deal with stress and loss of control by tidying and organizing. So needless to say, less important drawers and shelves are in tight shape giving me an overall sense of ease and order. After the isolation, I will be looking at new art and moving through the space differently.

The waking working life

The people I work with on a daily basis recently shifted, unrelated to COVID. Considering we spend the majority of our waking hours at work, the bulk of my day is look quite different than sixty days ago. Of course folks at HQ have much more empathy for being on Zoom every day, I hope that stays if we ever go back to offices.

Reading the cards

I’m taking a Tarot 101 class with Catland Books every Sunday in May with my friend Amy. I was looking for something playful, creative, and low pressure. Sure, it’s helping me tune into visual interpretation and my personal intuition. This is a new skill Amy and I are developing together, that did not exist months before lock down.

Loneliness

Exactly 57 days was the last time I made physical contact with another human. This two month hiatus

As our stores, restaurants, and cities are opening, we must also take more precaution on our streets. In my neighborhood, some shop owners expressed a hesitancy to enforce wearing masks without a rule posted anywhere, especially with the NYPD. I made these signs for my bodega guys and for anyone else who needs it. I’m hopeful a sign helps create a policy backed by the business owner to create safety for my local community.

Download Face Masks Required signs

Relatedly, I politely queued outside my local deli while awaiting unmasked police officers to exit. When some new unmasked police were entering, I mentioned I had been waiting awhile for a safe time to enter and kindly requested they wear masks. The response from one NYPD member was:

“I don’t have a mask. My body, my choice.”

– NYPD, June 8, 2020

Download and post these posters in your window to show your community you support your local black community. Each day I see a new banner out my window and it changes how I feel about my home, street, and neighborhood: activated and safe. If you have a printer, share a few extras with your neighbors.

Download Black Lives Matter Posters

Posters in series

• Black Lives Matter
• No Justice, No Peace
• Stop Killing Black People

By now it’s clear the world will be very different tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year. What we don’t know is how. I’m writing this to help future me have a record what the past was like. I want to remember this turning point or later know if I was foolish to think this was the moment when everything changed.

The proverbial watercooler

I started optionally working from home on March 2, 2020. I immediately went stir crazy and visited the office and gym a few times. The few half days I went to the office, work felt business as usual with extra Purell. There was more signage in the bathrooms about washing your hands for two happy birthdays. Coworking spaces are so high traffic, it was hard to feel like it mattered.

At yoga, I got a few funny looks when I insisted on using lysol wipes instead of whatever is in those spray bottles. I never really liked the used rag method, but I guess no one wants to lug their own yoga mat around dirty NYC.

Zero feet apart weekends

That Friday, March 6, 2020, I had a date with someone I had been seeing for a bit. It was hard not to talk about anything but Coronavirus. Even when the topic shifted to something positive, there was a heavy weight in the air. Even his pup was stressed out. Eventually, I suggested I go home. In your 30s, Friday date nights are hard even when a pandemic isn’t looming. I stayed up feeling low until 3am watching Jessica become Messica.

Saturday morning, friends who live on my street hosted a bagel brunch. Like any New York home hang, we were shoulder to shoulder. “Six feet apart” wasn’t in the daily dialogue yet. Someone I met at brunch invited me to join a dinner with more friends in the neighborhood. I enthusiastically said yes. Needless to say, that dinner never happened.

That night, I rode the subway to LIC. No gloves, no mask, no fear. My eyes were shamelessly glued to my phone, watching the finale of Love is Blind. I almost wished the ride was longer, just to finish the episode.

I met friends for dinner at Adda Cantine. We squished six to a table and shared a single travel size Purell bottle. “Covid Nineteen” was in the air. Some friends at dinner practice medicine, so of course I asked how worried we should be. All logic pointed to staying home– but still, we went out. From one squeeze to another, we piled into a Lyft, back to Brooklyn.

Daniel Bell was playing at Public Records. A remarkable artist at a tasteful club. If you’ve been there before, you know they graciously cater to a slightly more mature demographic, which includes placing a high value on keeping hydrated. Friends pulled clean tin cups from the community stack and dispensed water from the tap. I wonder if we’ll bring our own cups in the future.

We’re very lucky no one got sick. I say the following because we were so fortunate. I’m glad I went out dancing. We shouldn’t have. But it seems like I might not get to move my body in a large gathering for a long time. It’s something I need, it gives me energy.

I bumped into a few friends there. One being a promising young designer I met at a Carbon 5 mentor night. She had just gotten her first job and finally had health insurance. I hope she’s still employed, I should look her up. I left early, though. The BPM wasn’t picking up and I liked the idea of a good night’s sleep — ok fine, the finale of Love is Blind, was calling me.

On the other side of Brooklyn, my brother was DJing a party in Bushwick. At the time, opportunities to hear him play in a night club felt like great abundance. Bushwick was far, and I wanted to lay down. Read the quote. It was the best gig he’s had in NYC.

https://www.instagram.com/p/B9mRDlRJN6Z/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

I wish I was there. I regret going home. Netflix and early bedtimes are painfully abundant now.

That Wednesday, March 12, I went for dinner with some coworkers to celebrate a new teammate joining. We considered canceling and thought to keep one last hurrah. Upon entering the restaurant, I forgot all the rules and side hugged my new teammate and sat zero feet apart from another. That’s was the last time I made contact with people.

I’m not sure when I’ll dance with friends again, or meet for dinner, go on a date, or stroll to my neighbor’s house. Heck, I can’t even predict when I’ll hug someone again.

All of these things will happen. But New York will be different. I’ll be different.

Isolation is not for New Yorkers

I won’t sugar coat it. It’s scary in New York right now. What I know is my friends and family are staying home, washing their hands, and keeping a distance if they have to go out. If the numbers get worse, there’s not a whole lot more we can do. The only way out is through.

Friends and family are asking how I’m doing. I don’t know how to answer this question. Bad? Fine? Hangin’ in there? We’re all living through this pandemic, with our own unique challenges. What’s less visible to the rest of the world, is what transplant New Yorkers signed up for when they moved here.

Overheard: ‘I don’t think we should have to pay New York rents if our apartments don’t come with New York City anymore.’

— Mary Karr, Poet/Memoirist/Professor (@marykarrlit) March 28, 2020

In a few hundred square feet, I sleep, where I eat, where I work and design, where I exercise, and where I write. Most of us don’t have spare bedrooms, porches, back yards, garages, cars, and now barely the subway. The promise of moving to New York is the gift of walking out your door with the entire world at your finger tips.

My situation is not worse than yours. But every morning I wake up and I am exactly where I’ll be, with nowhere to go but inside.

I hope you’re doing ok. Please stay the fk home.

I created a Slack group for my building to help feel more connected locally while in quarantine at home. Here’s the template for the steps I took:

1. Create a new group on slack.com
2. Upload a group app icon
3. Create a few channels
4. Set up welcome messages
5. Post flyers so neighbors know the group exists

I made a template of the flyer and messaging. Take whatever is useful for you! Here’s to more connectivity in these isolating times.

Download flyers and templates

Personal finance is intimidating, especially since many Millennials graduated when the economy crashed and started off their adult lives in debt. Ramit Sethi will teach you to be rich. His book I Will Teach You To Be Rich is a step-by-step plan for setting and forgetting your finances. I got really into it with my brother and geeked out making a spreadsheet based on Ramit’s Framework.

Please keep in mind our spreadsheet is a compliment, not replacement, for Ramit’s book. The percentages and dates are samples and are different for my personal budget.

I Will Teach You To Be Rich [Spreadsheet Template]

1. Read Chapters 1-4 of I Will Teach You To Be Rich
   This spreadsheet specifically refers to Chapter 4 (39% way into the book) but the first three chapters are important setup. This book is especially great on Kindle. Even if you’re usually a paperback person, having it on the computer like a reference document, using the Kindle Desktop App, was helpful.
2. Make a copy of the spreadsheet
   File> Make a copy
3. Only edit the cells in highlighted in blue 
4. Input numbers from your paycheck (Cells B13-B17)
   The numbers on your payslip tell you how much money you earn, and thus how much money you can spend and save.
5. Adjust your savings percentages (Cells C2-C9)
   These percentages help you decide how much money you can allocate to different categories of spending. In my spreadsheet I made a new row for each of my savings goals. This will then calculate how much to auto-transfer to a high yield savings account every month. Add or remove as many rows as you like as long as the percentage equals 100.
6. List your fixed expenses (Cells B23-B27)
   Enumerate each expense you have every month. Now compare the Monthly calculated total (B23) with D2 (Monthly fixed cost). Adjust the numbers so they come close to matching. Ramit offers many specific tips to lower your monthly expense (and how to get a raise).
   
   Ramit recommends
   • 50-60% Fixed Costs (rent, utilities, loans, etc)
   • 10% Investments (401k, Roth IRA, other investment funds)
   • 5-10% Savings (gifts, house, down payment, unexpected expenses)
   • 20-35% Guilt Free Spending (dining out, music, burning man, etc)
7. Bonus activity
   1. Money in savings (B23)
      If you want help re-allocating your existing money into higher yield accounts, list the amount of cash you currently have here.
   2. Target date (G4-G9)
      What is all this saving for? You may not know if you want to get married, have children or buy a house. However, if it’s something you’re considering, this can help you estimate how much saving you need to do now for possible big expenses in the future.
   3. % from savings (I2-I10)
      Looking at raw numbers can be overwhelming. Allocating savings by percentage makes it easier to parse and prioritize numbers. This column can help you re-allocate any cash you have that you want to redistribute into high-yield savings or investment accounts.
   4. Total (K2-12)
      This column shows you how much you will have saved by your target date (existing savings + future contributions). It does not account for interest.

Good luck, have fun, and stay positive. You may be pleased with how much money you have or disappointed by how expensive it is to live in today’s world. But rest tonight knowing you are ahead of the curve by having awareness and approach for your finances.

I love organized patterns, structures, and frameworks. They reduce stress, cognitive load, and decision making on topics where I lack expertise. That means I spend more time focusing on the parts of life I care about. Here are my favorites:

Finances

Ramit Sethi teaches you how to set your finances on auto-pilot. Make money when you’re sleeping and enjoy a nice pool of money called Guilt Free Spending. It took me about six months to get finances buttoned up but it was pretty painless, and to be honest, quite fun. He writes a language easy to understand with anecdotes that make a scary topic accessible.

Home

Marie Kondo believes when our home is a happy place, we can bring our lives into a happy place. Her framework is famous for finding items that spark joy, but her system protects from rebounds or doing a little cleaning every day. Patterns like similar items together and make sure all items are visible in a drawer are small changes that have huge impact.

Art

Julia Cameron’s self-directed 8-week course of writing every morning and taking yourself on artist dates is blissful, inspiring, and challenging. She helps you unblock creative insecurities, experiment with art, and do daily self-reflections. She and I both believe, everyone is creative and can be an artist.

Health

The Whole 30 diet is a true challenge. It’s an elimination diet that only allows for fruit, vegetables, and meat. No sugar, dairy, grains, beans, booze, honey, soy, etc. The authors say

This is not hard. Don’t you dare tell us this is hard. Beating cancer is hard. Birthing a baby is hard. Losing a parent is hard. Drinking your coffee black. Is. Not. Hard. You’ve done harder things than this, and you have no excuse not to complete the program as written. It’s only thirty days, and it’s for the most important health cause on earth—the only physical body you will ever have in this lifetime.

That’s some tough love. I am still working on finding a way to integrate my Whole 30 insights into a daily lifestyle. Stay tuned on that.