Author: nina

After the wall came down, Berlin became a place for experiments. New expressions of electronic music emerged. I first visited Berlin in 2007 and was promptly rejected from Berghain. The club was still coming up and I’m impressed we even knew to try going there. I was getting rejected from Berghain before it was cool to get rejected from Berghain. People love to discuss it, defend it, throw shade. Here are my thoughts.

I don’t really mind. We were drunk american kids on study abroad looking for party. And we heard this place was cool. I like to believe the “vampire with a barbwire tat on his face” is my big techno mamma. He was protecting little me from something I was perhaps were not ready for.

Dance music found its first home in Detroit and Chicago in the late eighties. It came up from gay disco. And for most of techno’s life, it lived in the underground where everyone was welcome and the front door was always open. The world was different then for someone gay or black in America. This music, this art, created a home for the people on the cultural outside and for a long time stayed that way.

I grew up outside Chicago in the 90s listening to C&C Music Factory at the roller rink during birthday parties. I think this primed me in some ways. Later I really got into dance music because of Napster.

After graduate school I moved to San Francisco and found the music scene that welcomed anyone, especially those on the outside who wanted to experiment, try something new, and believed everything was possible. The music is so good. It was, it is, really good. Sounds like Berlin. No?

Dance music in North America recently found its place the mainstream. Festivals replaced concerts, and it’s finally ok, nay, even cool, to listen to music made from a computer. So now lots of drunk college kids on study abroad want to go to Berghain because Claire Danes said to.

At some clubs in Berlin, security ask who I’ve come to hear. They’re checking if I’ll be good guest. But then everyone is all of a sudden everyone is not welcome and getting in becomes about knowing something  of having some cool factor.

However once I’m inside, it means I’m dancing with people who also are there to enjoy the music. So the door has filtered out some people drunk, crass people and the club environment is actually enjoyable. Leaving the front door open works until everyone can’t come in.

When it comes to clubs in Berlin (and immigration for that matter) is everyone is equal? Or are some are more equal than others?

That night almost at Berghain in 2007 ended happily with doner kebab in hand and a nice reminder: it’s about who you’re with, not where you are. And it sure does help if the music is good.

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I got lucky. I’m starting to make friends who live here. The Berliner kindness and generosity is helping me feel comfortable but also makes me quite sad. I’ll illustrate why with my hypothetical friend named Katherine:

Wednesday afternoon Katherine and I decide on Facebook Messenger we should get together. We decide to meet on Saturday night around 11pm. On Friday she or I sends a message to confirm we’re still on.

We exchange phone numbers and she might even call me on Saturday afternoon to talk about our day and why, if, or how it could be possible either of us might be late. Thirty minutes before arriving we text again and make sure we’ll both be on time.

We meet on time and have a fun evening together. Now here’s the part that gets me. Every time, without fail, every time, Katherine sends a follow up message saying something like ‘had fun! goodnight!’. 

All this messaging could sound like overkill or even formulaic but in the moment is an expression of care, respect, and kindness. Some version of this attention takes place with almost every plan I’ve made. It’s wonderful and necessary.

This makes me sad because it reminds me how low my expectations are for people after living in #flakysf.I’m sad that decent human behavior feels over the top, especially since I’m still a second or third connect people I’m meeting. At home we say to take care of yourself first: You do you, gurl. I’m just doin me. YOLO because we could be dead in 5 minutes from being idiots the 5 minutes before! This kind of attitude doesn’t leave much room to care for the people around you.

However, it’s not to say there are no decent people in SF or that every interaction in Berlin will be this good. Some have been less easy. I met an ex-SFer last night who said this kindness appeared for him after people knew him for six months and understood he wasn’t transient. I’ve had the same experience. I notice the body language and tone of conversation improves when people hear how long I’ll be in Berlin and that I’m working with German clients. 

With all this messaging, why isn’t everyone glued to their phones? I’m baffled.

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Living in Berlin is living in two places.

I went to a fashion week party and met people from Venezuela, Korea, India, and probably places in Africa. Don’t worry, there were also tall white modelesque Europeans with long blonde ponytails too. While sipping my mini bottle of champagne from a straw with the sound of techno bleeping through the air I looked around at all the different faces and thought, we could be anywhere in the world right now.

#fashiontech show @bikiniberlin with @elektrocouture #blingbling pic.twitter.com/7skj8oxD3n

— david bizer (@bza) January 20, 2016

But that’s only part of being in this city.

When you move to a new place you must maintain your self or you’ll get lost in being someone else. Your identity, personality, values and ideals. But somehow you as who you are also must also participate, contribute, and accept local way of living.

Half of Berliners are from elsewhere. Morgenpost mapped the census data from last summer to show the thousands of people here born from Buenos Aires, Hanoi, Tehran, New York, Beirut and so on, not even counting the new 1.5 million expected from  Syria, Afghanistan, and Iraq. So how does each newcomers negotiate maintaining their self and truly living as a Berliner?

And I wonder what assumptions are people make about me? New friends, new clients, new boyfriends, people on the street, police officers, other expats, other immigrants. I have seen more subtle sexism and semi-unprofessional behavior in Berlin than I have anywhere in the world. But actually none it is has been from Germans. I’ll never know if someone is rude or kind to me because of my color, gender, accent, or even social class. Or maybe that’s how they treat everyone. And in these experiences, I am living in a very global community that has the cosmopolitan luxury of these concerns.

But then, there are times I am unmistakably in Germany. When I join longtime Berliners for a Saturday breakfast or a weeknight cocktail I really wish I spoke the language. Not to be included in the conversation, but to feel the subtleties of the discussion. When I make eye contact with a friendly faces on the train I want a smile in return.  I want to find it easy to be remarkably punctual. In small moments like these I really feel like I am in Germany.

Berlin is not fast like New York, bright like Tokyo, loud like San Francisco, nor smokey like New Delhi. Cities that have become themselves through great change.  This city, just like its people, is coming into its own and asking how to maintain its self and adapt to the change.

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A photo posted by @juliettenmd on Jan 11, 2016 at 4:40am PST

I’m here. It’s beautiful! I’m ready to meet some friends. Getting here was rough:

I got food poisoning on Saturday flying from India to Berlin. I vomited in the lavatory bathroom, at my window seat, and almost at baggage claim. During this episode I stepped on my phone shattering the screen locking me out of my the means to the hotel.

German bureaucracy is also holding my shipment of winter clothes at customs. Upon arrival I had to go shopping because stores are closed Sunday. This of course only after vomiting again in my bathtub and realizing my broken phone also locked me out of my work email.

I went to the closest stores nearby and deliriously wandered into a high-end mall and dropped my glass of bottled water all over the floor interrupting a man playing piano in the plaza. The old white-haired people shot me annoyed glares. Bitte! Sorry! ahhh. I dry-heaved my way home, slept til the sun came and went again.

I drew paper maps of how to get to my new office, wiggled my way into my work email, and ate a tiny plate of bruschetta. Still no phone, but a solid meal after 48 hours was my weekend triumph.

Monday morning, drained of energy I fought with the ticket machine and found my train. Everything was hard until I rode over the river blanketed with mini icebergs, gently bobbing on the Spree. It was so pretty, I quietly smiled to my self and though “yes, I’m supposed to be here. and I am.”

Yesterday my client said, “That sucks. But this is what happens when people first who move to Europe. It’s classic.” So either he’s very kind or I’m doing it right. Hopefully both. But either way, I’m ready to have some fun!

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Moving to a new country is exciting, but the logistics are slightly more complicated for temporary-long term moves. Here’s a synthesis of the tips I’m getting from friends who have already done the move.

Banking

In my research I didn’t find one great credit card to rule them all. People seem to love the Capital One for their excellent customer service and kind attention to foreign fees. You may want to consider getting a local bank account and credit card if you want to start building credit abroad. Regardless, the most important factors are

• no international fees
• no annual fees
• points or cash back bonuses
• no atm fees
• credit card has a chip

Phone

Transfer your phone number to Google Voice to keep getting messages from the US while you’re overseas.

1. Start this process by unlocking your phone
2. Once you get to your new city (or a day before departure) transfer your phone number to Google Voice. This will cancel your US phone plan.
3. In your new city, buy a local SIM card for your unlocked phone.
4. If you travel to other nearby cities often, you can buy pre-paid simcards and swap them out so you can text/call local numbers

Some rely mostly on Facebook Messenger and Facetime for text, voice, and messaging communication. This makes sense if you want to avoid giving out your new phone number.

Mail

The US Post Office will forward your mail for one year (in six month chunks) for $1.05. Mail is sent piece by piece. You can also forward your mail to a P.O. Box which is fairly straight forward if a friend will sort your mail. Or you can have the P.O. Box mail forwarded to your new address but according to Quora that’s become slightly more difficult since 9/11.

I’ve had a hard time as an artist in San Francisco. I came here for the creative communities, and I love them. But I haven’t developed this part of myself as much as I wanted or expected.  The options that feel available are to become a programmer, muralist, or some kind of hand-crafted artisan. That’s not me.

What I see in Berlin inspires me. The fashion, installations, form, photography styles, public art, music (of course), and their relationship to politics, identity, and expression. It speaks to me.

I want to use my time in Berlin to connect with artists to see other creative paths. I believe the thing I want to do in the future is already in motion. But right now, it’s too small to see how much it could matter with more attention. Here’s the activity I want to try to unlock some ideas. I hope you’ll try it too. Please tell me how it goes 🙂

The Creative Path Activity

Supplies:

• small stack of paper
• 1 sharpie marker
• timer
• Quiet, happy place

Step 1: The artist high

Set a timer for 8 minutes. Title this piece of paper artist high and write down all the times in the last 3-5 years you felt elevated by doing or making something. That’s the feeling you get while and after you make or do something and everything clicks. Think about the times your mind, body, spirit, and environment were resonating at the same frequency.

You were in the zone and barely thinking, just blissfully doing. Perhaps afterwards you were visibly glowing and feeling charged yet also at peace. List everything from writing music to going on a long drive. Write at least 10 memories. You can do it. I know it. If you come up with more than 10, even better.

Step 2: Top three memories

Re-read the list. Without judgement, circle the three happiest, highest memories. Which ones sent you to the moon? They felt like gifts to yourself, not great heavy efforts.

Step 3: Find common ground

Take out a new piece of paper and title it common ground. Make a new list of what attributes were the same during each of your circled activity. For example: always outdoors, best when in collaboration, seems to only work at night, has a relationship with using colors, doesn’t require much setup, etc. Write at least 10 common attributes.

Step 4: Top three attributes

Re-read the list. Without judgement, circle the three best attributes. Which ones speak to you? Which do you care most about, excite you? They seem like something you could pickup and do tomorrow without much effort.

Now you might know that you like making music and cocktails. But that doesn’t necessarily mean you should become a musician or bartender. It might mean that you like making things for other people to enjoy, or you care about the sensory experience, or maybe you just like doing things at night. This is why the attributes activity is so important. It lets you build on experiences you’ve had but also lets invites you to try something new.

Step 5: New activities

Ok, back to making lists. Take out your third piece of paper and title it creative path and reset the timer for 8 minutes. Start listing new activities that have all three of your attributes in common. List things you haven’t done before. It’s ok to write things you don’t even think you’d want to do. Right now, just write. What activities have all three things you figured out you love in common? Maybe giving city tours and co-writing a book show up because you find out you love collaborating, thinking about your city, and sharing information. Stay open to ideas. Keep writing.

Step 6: New activities

This is the last step. Read over your list. What stands out to you? Which is the one that’s obviously exciting, a little on the edge, somewhat scary, and looks like something you’re surprised you’re not already doing? Circle that activity. On the same sheet of paper, write down one thing you will do this week that puts that activity in motion.

Try it out for a while. If it works, keep it going. If not, lather, rinse, repeat. I’m going to try this. I’m excited to see what comes out!