I started meditating again. The weeks are going by so fast and the work is challenging. I’m being pushed to practice balancing priorities, managing expectations, asking for help when I need it, direct communication, and in the end still executing good designs. All things I want and need to practice so for that I’m grateful and hungry for these challenges.
But it’s difficult for me to calm down after the work day. My mind runs all week until I can shake it out at a club. Usually I would do something comfortable and quiet but I’m sleeping in a hotel for another week and am still living mostly out of one backpack. I miss my art supplies and yoga mat!
So I’m dancing which I find to be one of the best meditations. It’s a fairly sober activity for me and I don’t mind going alone if the goal is to hear music. However, staying up until sunrise is not a sustainable (or reliable!) way to relax. So I started sitting down quietly with my breath. Since then I’ve realized how often I’m setting a wrong expectation about how a place, person, or event will be.
Bunny Lunch
Last week a friend and I sat by the Spree for a lunchtime meditation. Halfway through the meal he told me I was eating noodles and “bunny” meat, which usually would have turned me off. I really don’t think I would order rabbit from a casual lunch menu, no not at all. But in this calm state of acceptance I was able to enjoy it. And for the first time properly realize I how little context I have about my own experience here. How many other times did I have bunny for lunch?!
Kegel not Kegels
The next day a friend invited me to join his friends for drinks after work. I assumed we were going to a bar until I found myself in the basement of an old apothecary bowling (kegel) under neon lights. That’s when I really started to pay attention to how different anything can be compared to what’s in my mind.
Kater
So I started saying yes to trusted invitations without questions. Because even when I think I know, I don’t. This has been a good thing because on Saturday I ended up at the Berlinale film festival watching an intense movie about two gay lovers and a dead cat. I’m glad I said yes.
Watergate
And finally, I got to turn the tables. I really wanted to listen to Patrice Bäumel DJ this weekend. Unfortunately he was playing at Watergate which is a beautiful club but is known for a horrible, drunk, rowdy, touristy atmosphere among my friends. I love Patrice’s music, I actually love it, so I decided to go regardless of my friends’ plans. Late into the night some friends who always get into Berghain didn’t get into Berghain and decided to join me. For some unknown reason Watergate wasn’t horrible last night and we had a surprisingly, wonderful, joyful, meditative time.
It was a timely reminder that keeping expectations in check has little to do with being new to a city. We could be eating bunny at any moment.
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